InsaneJournal

Fic: In the Still of the Night

xposted at Livejournal

Title: In the Still of the Night
Author: qaffangyrl
Rating: R
Timeline: Early Season 2.
A/N: Just a little unbetaed ficlet that came to me while I should have been studying for the GRE. Enjoy.


You don’t have the nightmares as often anymore. They only come two or three times a week, now. And occasionally you’re able to make it through one without even waking Brian up. Because, really, that’s the worst part of it. That desperate expression on his face that tells you how much all of this has affected him too. You hate that this whole mess is causing him pain and that he feels obligated to take care of you because you’re still frightened of your own shadow.

There are times though, when he’s so caring and even sweet with you, that you begin to think that it may have almost been worth it.

Like the other night...

The room was starting to come into focus and through the sound of your own deep, labored breaths you could just barely hear his voice.

“Justin,” he whispered, “You’re safe. You’re in the loft…with me. You’re alright.” He was always careful to make sure you knew where you were before he touched you. You fixed your gaze on him and as your vision cleared you forced yourself to give him a little smile. It was a struggle, but it always seemed to ease the tension in his face. You knew how much he must hate all this, but he never complained or made you feel like a stupid little faggot because you’d developed a habit of waking up, screaming, in the middle of the night.

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

Sometimes you did. When you were a little boy your mother told you of an old-wives-tale that said if you told someone about your nightmare before you ate breakfast in the morning it wouldn’t come true. If the dream you’d had just now was only some dark construct of your inner psyche then you’d recount the absurd details and Brian would reassure you that it could never happen in real life. But tonight, it was as if you were reliving the bashing. What your mind could only barely piece together while you were awake became a crystal clear memory while you slept.

“No.” You whispered as you turned on your side and buried your face in Brian’s chest. He tentatively wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer to him. You felt him rest his chin on the crown of your head. And he held you in the stillness while your heartbeat slowed down to a normal rhythm.

After a few moments you heard him ask, “Then I suppose you want to play our little game again, don’t you?”

You looked up at him and nodded. The smile you gave him this time was genuine. He smirked at you in return. Making light of the situation was part of it. “Hold on, I’m in the mood for some weed. You want anything?”

“Water would be good.”

Brian acknowledged your request with a grunt as he pulled himself up off the bed. Under other circumstances you would have teased him by making some obnoxious remark about how making noises like that were a sign of his advancing years. But comments like that generally earned you a little spanking and that wasn’t the type of game you wanted to play tonight.

When he returned with the joint and your bottle of Evian he immediately noticed that you had scooted over to his side of the bed and were nestling your head on his pillow. You expected him to tell you to move your ass, but he didn’t even bat an eye. He just handed you your water and slid into your side of the bed.

You handed him his lighter, he lit the joint and then raised his arm so you could curl up next to him and rest your head on his shoulder. He knew what you where going to say. It was the same request every time, but he took a long drag and waited for you, nonetheless.

The game would seem simple enough to some people. It was just a quick peak behind the curtain that hid the inner workings of one Brian A Kinney. But you knew just as well as any of the other people in his life that your request was anything but simple.

You watched a ribbon of smoke travel up towards the bedroom ceiling and then said, “Tell me something I don’t know.”

Your eyes followed him as he brought the joint back to his lips and inhaled. Then, while he held the smoke in his lungs he replied, “I watched you.”

This too, was part of the game. He never offered up some random story without you having to work for it. You figured that was by design. The effort it took you to drag the information out of him would help you relax, forget your nightmare, and ultimately get back to sleep while there were still enough hours left in the night so you could be rested by morning.

You have no doubt that Brian would prefer to just fuck your nightmare away. But even nowadays when he’s taking it easy with you during sex, you’ve both realized that after a nightmare fucking is just too intense for you to handle.

“When did you watch me?”

Brian made a third and then fourth ring of smoke with his lips before he set the joint in the ashtray and answered, “After King of Babylon…when you stole my trick.”

You shifted in Brian’s embrace and looked up at him to ask, “Wait, you mean you watched me fuck him?”

He looked down at you and gave you that this-conversation-is-so-tedious expression he liked to use and replied, “MmHm. And it was just as I suspected.”

It was obvious he was playing with you. Still this was a unique opportunity. And if you played your cards right, you might be able to take this conversation in a very interesting direction. “What?”

He looked down at you and raised an eyebrow, “Well, not only did you copy my dialogue that night, you also copied my moves.”

You laughed and rolled over on top of him. He let you pin his arms down to the mattress as you replied, “I’m quite certain that you don’t hold the copyright to ‘I wanna fuck all night’ and if as you say, I copied your moves, it was only because I learned from the master.”

You watched as he curled his lips between his teeth and studied his eyes as you waited for what he’d say next. He blinked slowly, “They do say that mockery is the sincerest form of flattery. And it is true. I am the master.”

You shifted your weight forward, while making certain to brush your cock up against his, “You know, if you were so curious back then, perhaps you’d like to know, first hand, what I’ve learned from you.”

He coughed out a laughed as you licked the underside of his jaw, “Sunshine, you must be under the second hand smoke effects of this joint if you think I’d take you up on an offer like that.”

“I read on gay-dotcom that everyone is versatile, but only some guys are confident enough with their own masculinity to admit it.”

This comment earned you a change in positions. And after a lightening fast tumble you found yourself underneath Brian. You felt his hot breath against your ear as he said, “I learned all about the joys of bottoming while you were still toddling around the sandbox, little boy.”

“But don’t you ever wonder…you know, what all I’ve learned from you?”

For some reason, this conversation and the idea of topping Brian made you start to remember how you used to be…before. It’s the first time in ages that you felt that cocky self-assuredness rise up from within you. And the one thing you could never forget, was how irresistible your bravado was for Brian. “We both know that you taught me how to give the most spectacular head in all of Pittsburgh. Are you really saying that you never want to know if I passed all your lessons?”

“Despite my ubiquitous presence, I am only one man. I owe it to the queers of greater PA to supply them with at least one other guy who has my skills.” He smiled at you with his tongue firmly in his cheek.

“So all the attention and diligent time you’ve spent with me to hone my skills, was really just your charitable contribution to the gay community?”

He released his hold on you and brushed his fingers through your hair, “I’m nothing, if not generous.”

“More like saintly.” You laughed in reply.

“I have been known to make a lucky few see the face of God.”

You’re having fun. And you felt safe, warm and loved even as he began planting kisses along the side of your neck. But, he wasn’t taking the bait. So, using a different tactic, you lifted your head up off the pillow and whispered in his ear, “I love it when you’re inside me, Brian. There’s nothing else in the world that remotely compares to it. You’re the best. Are you really sure you never want to know what I’d feel like inside you?”

The silence in the room almost suffocated you while you waited for his answer. Finally, you were able to breathe again when heard him say, “I’d never, say never.”


The End.